The fact that the world’s biggest superstar is now prosecuting the world’s smallest ice cream parlour, is akin to the actions of a big baby, rocking in a corner with some wet wipes crying over spilt milk.
In this case, breast milk.
It is worth noting that this ice cream was on sale for just a few hours before it was banned by Westminster Council, so it’s not as if its been a best seller for a parlour where the paint is barely dry and the doors open just over a week. Nobody seems to have told her it is no longer for sale.
Yet a global superstar has taken umbrage at what she describes as a ‘nausea-inducing’ product. This from a woman with a penchant for wearing rotting cows flesh. At least our customers are still alive when they contribute to our ‘art’.
Perhaps I’ll deliver my response wearing a fillet steak jockstrap, celebrating the fact that it is mothers milk which has weaned humanity for thousands of years and it is the drinking of milk destined for the calves of other mammals which is in fact questionable.
She claims we have ‘ridden the coattails’ of her reputation. As someone who has plagiarised and recycled on an industrial scale, the entire back catalogue of pop-culture to create her look, music and videos, she might want to re-consider this allegation.
How can she possibly claim ownership of the word ‘gaga’ which since the dawn of time has been one of the first discernable phrases to come from a baby’s mouth. This is why we chose the name. She owns no rights in the primal utterances of our children.
The costume used by The Icecreamists in fact referenced Madonna’s Jean-Paul Gaultier designed conical brassiere for the 1990 Blonde Ambition Tour (which it self was inspired by 1950’s cone bra’s). It had no relation to the Lady herself.
We could also argue to the contrary, that it is in fact HER shamelessly riding on the coattails of the publicity generated by The Icecreamists breast milk ice cream.
Worse still she threatens me, my family and my personal assets (ask my ex-wife, she knows where they are), in an example of heavy-handed legal thuggery straight out of an episode of the Soprano’s.
It all sounds and tastes like sour milk to us.
Should we be unable to defrost the pop-demagogue then we will adopt a Churchillian position: we will lick her on the beaches, we will lick her on the streets of Covent Garden and we will lick her in court.
She can bring her legal team, we will bring our ice cream. (And some spoons for sharing).
Ultimately like her, The Icecreamists are a melting pot for pop-culture, satirically referencing and celebrating the freedom of the internet and materials in the public domain.
Why do we do this? Because we are ‘born this way.’
Finally, we note that her latest single sounds uncannily like Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself.’ What a beautiful, poetic irony to end on.
Matt O’Connor x
Founder, The Icecreamists